Growth Mindset: More Than Just Adding “Yet”

​I’ll often cringe at myself when I hear myself saying, “Add a …yet to that!”. It’s my go-to when my kids declare they can’t do something. As if sprinkling a “yet” onto their frustration will magically transform it into motivation and a willingness to try again. Spoiler: it doesn’t.

Growth mindset is often taught as a gold-starred box to aspire to. But the reality it that it’s more nuanced than that. Every one of us moves between fixed and growth mindsets depending on the situation we’re in – and that’s okay, as both mindsets serve a valuable purpose.

Did you know your child’s brain can switch into a fear state when faced with something new?

When our young people are doing something new or difficult, or are in an unfamiliar situation, their brains can easily shift into a ‘fear’ state. Suddenly, it’s like a tiger has strolled into the room! Their creative, problem-solving brain goes offline, and they’re firmly in a fixed mindset. This isn’t a sign of failure; it’s a totally natural response as their brain is telling them to focus on escaping from the tiger (or algebra!).

In these moments, forcing a ‘growth mindset’ approach won’t work and can leave them feeling more stuck. Instead, the key is helping them to regulate their emotions so they can bring their thinking brain back online. Research shows it takes around 20 minutes of focused regulation (calming strategies, movement, or simply stepping away) to shift from survival mode into a problem-solving state.

Building your growth mindset muscle

What actually helps to build a growth mindset “muscle” isn’t magical words. It’s the process of pushing gently at the edges of their comfort zone, feeling the fear, and learning from it. It’s about helping them develop the skills of self-regulation (calming their fear brain) and self-reflection (making sense of what they’ve experienced).

This is how they learn to embrace challenges, find motivation to try new things, and build resilience to both failure and success. Growth mindset isn’t about perfection or staying in a ‘can-do’ state 24/7. It’s about meeting fear with curiosity and knowing that each wobble along the way is simply part of the process.